Brunch

Brunch is stupid. The word is stupid and the act of taking part in this dining experience is stupid. Lets start with the word - "Brunch". A combination of the words "breakfast" and "lunch". Now that I broke it down, you must feel a good bit dumber for having said this word, on likely multiple occasions. My problem with brunch stems from my Grandparents. I remember growing up and they loved to meet my parents, sister, and I for brunch. I remember, even at an early age, that request of theirs always fuc*ed up my routine. But here are my current personal problems with brunch.

Scenario 1 - It generally takes place between 10am-11am, a perfect hour that can totally screw you out of a morning workout. If it starts at 10, you aren't leaving till 12, so then you workout around 1 or 2 (to give the food time to settle) and finish hungry so that you now must decide between eating like a horse at 4 pm and screwing up any hopes for dinner at a normal hour.

**Note, brunch is typically only observed on weekends in which I do not workout before 9:00am. Yes, if I was in a frustrating marriage, had kids, or religious obligations; I would workout at 7:00 am on a Sunday so that I could use the brunch to refuel. I am a 25yr. male who likes to party, has no wife, no kids that I am aware of, and likes to use the weekends for big rides/runs and relaxing, so a 7:00 am Sunday workout just ain't gunna happen.

Scenario 2 - You wake up at 7:30, you have coffee and attempt not to eat breakfast because brunch is a few hours away and you have been thinking about that quiche all week, and in no way are you going to impair your abilities to kill a whole plateful of that delicious treat. But now it's 8:30 and you are starting to get the jitters from the caffeine and a little irritable as you haven't eaten a damn thing since you have been up. So, you take the plunge and pour yourself a bowl of cereal. You eat the cereal (now in a relaxed state) and then its already time to get in the shower and get cleaned up to meet your friends who have horrible dietary choices and habits for a "wonderful" mid-morning brunch. You meet them, murder a plate of that delicious quiche, and slowly become depressed. It is only 11:00 am and you have already consumed 1,200-1,500 calories of muffins, quiche, jams, fruit, mimosas, and waffles, not to mention - that bowl of cereal you just had to have when you woke up! Now 12:00, you are home, sleepy and a little drunk (must be a combination of the preservatives from the shi*ty ingredients in the quiche and the mimosas). Happy Sunday! Now you are a fu*king zombie till 4pm, too late for a workout because you have to meet the family for a geriatric dinner at 5pm.

Random notes currently on my mind - to finish off this post:
* Body Glide was put on this planet for cyclists who like to shave their junk
* Just figured out why you women were posting colors on your Facebook status's yesterday
* Wafflemaker came in yesterday, Charlie and I killed 2 waffles each last night. See pic below.
* My car said it was 11degrees this morning when I left the house for the gym
* Boscos tonight
* My hands have been cold for a week and a half
* SwampStomper is just 1 week away
* R.I.P Don Spears

Jews are coming for ya

Check it!

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/elite-cyclists-cooperate-to-promote-sports-growth-in-israel

Israel has a cycling team. Sure they may look like a goofy group, but there are some strong ones on the team.


I love the mismatched podium shoes, the rolled shorts, (especially the dude with one short rolled up) the mismatched sunglasses, and the guy with the Lycra shoe covers. He must be the Time Trial specialist.

Waffles and Love

Just ordered a commercial grade waffle maker. Remembering those happy times at the top of the gondola at Jackson Hole. Look at that smile! Mmmmm...

Killed my legs at the coldest ever Hill N' Dale this past Saturday at the forest! Took 2nd.

Schnucks on Union sucks! Aside from the cluster-fuck of a parking lot, that place straight-up sucks. The employees are horrible, the store is dirty, and every time I try and just "grab a few things," I leave angrier than Derek Klaybold at a High School Prom. Today, while looking for walnuts, I found a box cutter laying on a shelf. To make matters worse, the shelf was at the ideal height for a 6yr. old. Needless to say, I grabbed the box cutter and went to hand it to one of the fine members of society who Schnucks is so proud to call one of their very own employees. This guy, lets call him "Jevon" to create some imagery, was the first whom I encountered. "Hey man, I found this on a lying on a low shelf back there (while pointing casually behind me) and didn't want a kid to get it" to which Jevon replied "aight". End of story. Now, in no way was I expecting a monetary reward, direct appreciation from the store manager, or a hand job in the bathroom, but a "Thank you" would have been nice.

Random notes you should take to heart:

Charlie makes some killer Biscotti!
Los Comales on Summer is my new favorite Mexican joint.
Its fu*king cold outside!
Dan and Erin throw a great party!
Your dog hates you unless he/she is sleeping on a lazybonesbeds.com/
I have a date with Lisa tonight!...Casey is studying

New Snoop

Got the new Snoop Dogg album yesterday. Sick!! People say "don't judge a book by its cover." But Snoop Dogg has proven that if you put a random assortment of badass "things" on the cover of your new album, people like me are going to buy it. I forget if it was the Skeleton, Martini Glass, LowRider, Dice and Cards, Gin&Juice, Raining Money, 8Ball, or Chopper in the Sky that spoke to me first, but it sure wraps up all my emotions into one beautiful collage.

Hit the gym after work yesterday. Had the place to myself during the 2nd half to my workout, so I got to blare some Ludacris through the speakers. After a quick shower, I headed to pick my mom up for some dinner. Fresh Slices in the dirty Dova for a grilled Ahi tuna sammy and some sweet potato fries, and a slice of chocolate cake for dessert. Got to love my folks. As I drop my mom off at the house after supper, she invites me in to make a few repairs which my father is incapable of doing. Replacing a smoke detector battery (not joking) and repairing the insulation around an exhaust pipe in the attic. For completing the tasks, I left with 2X6 packs of Yuengling beer, a handful of Grapefruits and Oranges, and two big bowls of Chicken Soup (all Jewish households have multiple bowls of Chicken soup prepared and stored at any given time).

Lost in a glass of wine and a new book, a geriatric night was how I topped off the evening.

Got a photo today of me dancing with the lady with the cone boobs. I realize the lighting does not highlight the shape of her breasts, however it does highlight my undies. Enjoy.

Has Kwanzaa began yet?

Saw an article on CNN that Kwanzaa is in a recession. The made-up holiday is fading. Bummer...

Yes, even I love making up fake holidays too, and attempting to make them a tradition, but ultimately they loose steam. Sorry to all you devout Kwanzaa-goers out there, but looks like you will have to settle for the celebration of the birth of my boy, Jesus Christ.

If you give a damn, the last few days for me - Parkway Run on Christmas-Eve in the pouring rain then copius amounts of Vino with the girls, Hike with Charlie and Riley on Christmas then more vino and a movie with Sette, Big Ride in the nasty cold wind on the 26th with Richard and Michael then Craigs 30th B-day at Silkys, Big trail run yesterday with Elizabeth then Chris Chew at the Hi-tone, Batty's party, and dinner with Casey and Lisa.

Got the new Snoop Dog CD today....money!

Thinking an Airstream in somebody's backyard may be my new living situation....really.

New Kicks and Cold Hands

USA Cycling reminder email came today. Time to get my 2010 racing license. Yayy! NOT! I would rather spend $60 for a sandpaper, gravel, and rock salt Enema than give it to that group. I love bicycle racing, appreciate the promoters (except for the dumb fat bit*h in Tour De' Tuscaloosa), and like a few officials. Other than that, it is arguably the largest group of talking fecal matter in the country.

Trying to buy a home. Not working out that well. Will know tomorrow if it is mine or not.

Check out the new kicks (notice the pink socks peeking out)- Thanks to Sette!


Aching to hit the trails this afternoon. Hitting Walnut Grove/ Wolf River trail North toward Summer, onto the abandoned railroad East towards the Jail, behind the Jail (may holla at my boyz) and double track back South to the bridge. Made myself a nice Tarahumara lunch of black beans, corn, green chiles, and loads of Cilantro - should fuel me nicely! Peace-

MexiCAN and Trails weekend

Friday night, chill. Dinner at Harry's Detour then drinks and dessert at Felicia Suzanne's. Felicia is a cool chick. Also goes down as the first Caucasian "Felicia" I have met. She showed me around the unbelievable kitchen and patio, super cool girl, and her food is bomb.

Saturday, freezing cold and overcast. After a few cups of coffee, some cereal, and a big glass of Chia with a splash of lime, I was anxious to get active. To hide from the wind and cold, I aired up the tires on the MTB for the first time in a month and hit the trails.

Story time: I had to run some errands on the way to the trail head, and while making stops I realized I had to pee. Since my bladder is as tough as Iron, I held my pee as long as I could. I finally was so ready to get on my bike, and had to piss like a 3 dicked salamander, so I pulled off of Wolf River Pkwy at the Greenway entrance just East of Kirby. I hop out of the car and since no other cars or form of life was around, I walk in front of the car and start pissing. No need to hide behind a tree, nor take a few extra steps into the woods, just let her rip. As I am just getting the nice arch forming to my urine stream, a speaker comes on and says "Welcome to the Germantown Greenway. We are taking photos for your security". Startled I turn around to see a camera on a pole with a speaker mounted underneath. Ohh well, f*ck it, and I kept pissing. Then as I am getting my bike off the car and shoes on, the same damn voice and message must have played another 3-4X, or every time I triggered the motion detector. This week I am awaiting a knock on the door from the men in blue or a ticket in the mail for public urination, as the camera had a Graham Watson view of my license plate and me peeing in the same shot. I sure hope to be sharing that image with you soon.

The night came and it was time for Rocky and Dave's Krunkest Kwismas Party. Thanks for the cocktails boys! Headed from there, grabbed a Turkey Muffletta at the Quick Check and hit up North Mississippi All Stars at Minglewood. Great show, watered down drinks, and a fun crowd. A good time was had by all.

Sunday AM came too soon. Hit Billy Simpson up for a trail run at the Forest. Great conversation and a beautiful run through the park. 1hr15 minutes flew by! Felt great, and legs still feel awesome today. Quite a refreshing change from the lingering soreness due to the beating on the pavement! Hit the shower, then hit La Guadalapana for a killa burrito. A few brews with the boys downtown, then dinner with Dad at La Playita for SumMo Mexican. Mmmm!! Heading home and decided to meet some friends at Los Compadres...What!! Back up Mayne! Mexican for the 3rd time! Texas Style on the Rocks no doubt. Saw Z Perry, Kenny, and Shobbs too. Good times.