Brunch

Brunch is stupid. The word is stupid and the act of taking part in this dining experience is stupid. Lets start with the word - "Brunch". A combination of the words "breakfast" and "lunch". Now that I broke it down, you must feel a good bit dumber for having said this word, on likely multiple occasions. My problem with brunch stems from my Grandparents. I remember growing up and they loved to meet my parents, sister, and I for brunch. I remember, even at an early age, that request of theirs always fuc*ed up my routine. But here are my current personal problems with brunch.

Scenario 1 - It generally takes place between 10am-11am, a perfect hour that can totally screw you out of a morning workout. If it starts at 10, you aren't leaving till 12, so then you workout around 1 or 2 (to give the food time to settle) and finish hungry so that you now must decide between eating like a horse at 4 pm and screwing up any hopes for dinner at a normal hour.

**Note, brunch is typically only observed on weekends in which I do not workout before 9:00am. Yes, if I was in a frustrating marriage, had kids, or religious obligations; I would workout at 7:00 am on a Sunday so that I could use the brunch to refuel. I am a 25yr. male who likes to party, has no wife, no kids that I am aware of, and likes to use the weekends for big rides/runs and relaxing, so a 7:00 am Sunday workout just ain't gunna happen.

Scenario 2 - You wake up at 7:30, you have coffee and attempt not to eat breakfast because brunch is a few hours away and you have been thinking about that quiche all week, and in no way are you going to impair your abilities to kill a whole plateful of that delicious treat. But now it's 8:30 and you are starting to get the jitters from the caffeine and a little irritable as you haven't eaten a damn thing since you have been up. So, you take the plunge and pour yourself a bowl of cereal. You eat the cereal (now in a relaxed state) and then its already time to get in the shower and get cleaned up to meet your friends who have horrible dietary choices and habits for a "wonderful" mid-morning brunch. You meet them, murder a plate of that delicious quiche, and slowly become depressed. It is only 11:00 am and you have already consumed 1,200-1,500 calories of muffins, quiche, jams, fruit, mimosas, and waffles, not to mention - that bowl of cereal you just had to have when you woke up! Now 12:00, you are home, sleepy and a little drunk (must be a combination of the preservatives from the shi*ty ingredients in the quiche and the mimosas). Happy Sunday! Now you are a fu*king zombie till 4pm, too late for a workout because you have to meet the family for a geriatric dinner at 5pm.

Random notes currently on my mind - to finish off this post:
* Body Glide was put on this planet for cyclists who like to shave their junk
* Just figured out why you women were posting colors on your Facebook status's yesterday
* Wafflemaker came in yesterday, Charlie and I killed 2 waffles each last night. See pic below.
* My car said it was 11degrees this morning when I left the house for the gym
* Boscos tonight
* My hands have been cold for a week and a half
* SwampStomper is just 1 week away
* R.I.P Don Spears